I will never forget the summer my parents lent me their ocean front condominum for several months so that in the words of my father, “we will see this summer if you have the discipline to be a writer.” I will never remember that summer because of all the writing I did, because what stands out above all else is that I sacrificed my writing for a summer of drunkenness, inappropriate relationships and ultimately a decision to commit suicide. I did not know Jesus Christ, and I did not know there was any other way than what I knew. I certainly did not have the discipline to be a writer, but it would take me 20 more years to realize that the word discipline comprises the word disciple. How could I have the discipline to use the gift God had given me if I was not a disciple of the Lord who had given me the gift? Now, as I press on in pursuing God’s call for me in ministry and persist in writing the book He has given me to write, I cannot help but realize the devil has fought a seemingly endless battle to not only take my life – but to take God’s gift. This time, unlike the summer I gave up writing for a life of living hell, I am a disciple of the giver of the gift. So no matter how hard the enemy fights me now – and the war rages on – I know I have the victory in Christ. I would have to say the enemy is fighting me now harder than ever to stop this gift and to prevent the book I am writing from being published, but I have no doubt in my mind I am equipped through faith in Jesus Christ to answer the call of the Lord. God has given me another chance, and He has given me everything I need to succeed. I cannot deny that I am battle weary from what I have walked through these past years, and even weeks – but the Lord reminds me to rest as I take advantage of this second chance He has given me. He reminds me with this second chance He is here to lead me forward, to walk with me, and to provide all that I need as we carry on – together in His love.
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