“As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?
3 My tears have been my food day and night,
While they continually say to me,
“Where is your God?”
4 When I remember these things,
I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go with the multitude;
I went with them to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and praise,
With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance.” Psalm 42:1-5
16 “that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— 19 to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” Eph. 3:16-19
The last thing in the world I ever thought I wouid believe – let alone share with others as I am now – is that desperation comes with a blessing, and it comes with a blessing so big that it’s totally indescribable bedause of its enormity. Let me explain.
If you’ve ever faced challenges, or are facing them now, or even have faced them pretty much seemingly continually through your life, then you’re probably up close and personal familiar with the feeling of desperation. Of desperately wanting to survive, to make it, to come up for air, to feel better, to feel good again, or maybe good for the first time, to be unburdened, to be set free, to overcome your obstacles, to get past your challenges, to make it over your hurdles, to have some semblance of what you consider to be a normal life, to learn how to enjoy life instead of always struggling, well, you know, you get the point, don’t you? It’s hard to describe that incredibly indescribably desperate feeling you’ve experienced, or are experiencing, right? You could go to counseling forever, or sit with your pastor in his office for eternity, or cuddle up with your spouse night after night, or have coffee with your best friend and unload your heart, and talk on and on and on, or even write about it, and still never be able to describe in words the desperation that seems to pervade your very soul, to overhwhelm your heart, to consume your mind – relentlessly – isn’t it?
How in the world, you may wonder, can desperation result in a blessing, let alone a blessing so big, so unbelivable, so mangnificent, so splendid, so enormous, that not only can you not describe your desperation, but you would never be able to describe the blessing you find in the midst of it all, right?
Friend, I share with you from experience. I’ve had so many challenges in my life there have been times I felt I couldn’t even come up for air. While my challenges have been NOTHING compared to others’ challenges, for me they have been seemingly endless – even to this very day. But I am here to tell you the DESPERATION that has resulted from my challenges, the desperation that is with me EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE, as I can’t remember a day in my life in decades that came without challenges, if not ever, that I didn’t seem to have to struggle hour by hour to get thorugh the day in some semblance of normalcy, or well being, or well feeling, or however you want to describe it, has resulted in a BLESSING so gigantic that I have no words to describe how very big it is.
There are two places we can turn our desperation. We can turn it toward the world and seek something or someone to help us, to rescue us, to satisfy us, to help us escape, to help us survive, etc., or we can turn our desperation to THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.
Friend, every single day of my life I have some level of desperation, some days bigger than others, some days so big I wonder how I’ll get through the day, and I have learned to turn my desperation to THE LORD, to HIS WORD, to HIS FELLOWSHIP, to HIS LOVE, MERCY, GRACE, PEACE, HOPE, PROMISES, COMPASSION, COMFORT, FRIENDSHIP, LORDSHIP, COMPANIONSHIP, and on and on – and on.
In my life, I have faced childhod sexual abuse, post traumatic stress disorder, alcoholism, an eating disorder, self mutilation, debilitating depression, horrible anxiety, suicidal thoughts for about 20 years, being kicked out of my family for talking about something from the past, abandonment by two husbands, the tragic loss of my beloved pastor, the tragic loss of numerous of my sweet dogs, my closest female friend being found dead with a shotgun wound to her chest, living a single life despite my desperate desire to have a rich family life, having to leave behind much of what I have loved and wanted in my decision to follow Christ, and a daily battle with more than I can share here as the enemy comes at me exceedingly hard to try to shut me down and to destroy my ministry for the Lord, and on and on.
I am desperate daily. And because I turn my desperation to Jesus Christ, crying out to Him, praying to God over and again, poring through His Word, clinging to Him, cleaving to Him, reaching up my arms to Him, screaming in my soul for Him to rescue me, to help me, to change me, to grow me, to love me, yearning for His presence, zealous to be closer, and closer, and closer to Him, I am blessed with an absolutely amazing forever intimate relationship with God almighty through Christ.
Are you desperate? The world will NEVER satisfy you completely, and never continually. But when you turn your desperation to the Lord, continually, you won’t be able to fathom how amazingly awesome it is to be filled with God’s love, with His grace, with His mercy, with His comfort, and on and on – and on.
Oh, how I would have given anything to have an easy life like some seem to have, or easier anyway than my own has seemed to be. But today, though I certainly don’t love the fact I have struggled as much as I have, and continue to, how blessed I am, how infinitely blessed I am, that my desperation has when I turn it to the Lord produced the fruit of an ever-growing, ever more intimate relationship with Christ Jesus who is Lord forevermore.
Not only am I blesesd with this phenomenal relationship with Jesus, but because of the desperation I have experienced, I am given the blessing of the Lord using me through the exceeding care and compassion He has given me for others coupled with my desperation and ever closer and ever more beautiful relationship with Him to have an endless desire and opportunities to help others to find and know the forever love of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen!
If you are desperate, be desperate for Him. For the Lord! If you are not desperate, be desperate. For Him! For the Lord! Don’t turn your desperation to the world which will never satisfy, not forever anyway. Turn your desperation to the Lord! Whose love is unfathomable, whose love is forever, whose love we can have through Christ forevermore! Turn your desperation to Him! Be desperate for the Lord Jesus Christ! Forevermore! Yes!